new car, caviar, four-star daydream

Money, it's a drag.

With my recent banking issues, an increased rent (in more ways than one) due to moving to London, and some recent, extremely frustrating details of my last tenancy, I am getting increasingly annoyed with money. Not having much of it I can deal with. Live simply, don't eat out much, wear clothes from when you were in high school, not know how to turn the heating on, and traverse in shoes that have so many holes any amount of precipitation on the ground will soak them through almost instantly. I can deal with what many in America would consider fairly humble living.

I'm interning and volunteering now for some NGOs, of course this is unpaid. There are issues with that as it is and I understand that it is my choice to make this sacrifice in order to get into the development sector for my career. I do the odd job here and there and ends are met, but I do not see that happening past January. I don't want to focus my effort and what I do on money, but it seems to creep up all the time. It is beyond just the stress and hurt pride, it affects relationships as well as the size and number of hurdles to what you can achieve in life. It makes me angry and sometimes even hate people regardless of their true character. Ornateness and luxury I can do without, but money stands in the way of me seeing my close friends and family--those things are important, and certainly more important than money.

It is an enabler and an impediment, but I would rather focus on the goal rather than the means. Unfortunately it seems that it cannot be helped.